This Crumbling Bastion
As I mentioned last week, I haven't written for a while, so this is me floundering around a little trying to find my voice again.
I always like to experiment anyway, as you can see here with the italicised phrases, but this becomes harder when you don't quite have the confidence in your own writing back yet. For just my second piece of writing in a while this may have been a little ambitious. I don't think I quite pulled it off, but at the same time I don't dislike it; it is, in my opinion, a moderate success.
I wasn't sure about how much to change the ending, either; on re-reading I felt it wasn't entirely clear what I had in my mind as this scene was taking place. I didn't want to spell it out, and I didn't want to underestimate the reader's intuition, so in the end I left the final paragraph as I originally wrote it, more or less. Which leaves it more open to ambiguity... but then that has always been a hallmark of my micro-fiction.